有翻译的英语笑话要简单一点..尽量长一些..要快~今天要~

有翻译的英语笑话要简单一点..尽量长一些..要快~今天要~
有翻译的英语笑话
要简单一点..
尽量长一些..
要快~
今天要~

有翻译的英语笑话要简单一点..尽量长一些..要快~今天要~
什么叫叛徒?
Young hopeful：“Father,what is a traitor in politics?”
Father（a veteran politician）：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one．”
Young hopeful：“Well then,what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours?”
Father：“A convert,my son．”
什么叫叛徒?
有希望的青年人：“父亲,什么叫政治叛徒?”
父亲（一位老资格的政治家）：“叛徒指的是离开我们党而加入到另一个党的人.”
有希望的青年人：“那么,离开他的党而加入到我们党的人又叫什么呢?”
父亲：“叫改变信仰者.我的儿子.”

A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it .She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes.Frantica...

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A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it .She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes.Frantically, she called to the father outside.
"Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do ?"
Yelled back the father ,"Keep feeding him nickels!"
母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去，她立刻将他抱起，头朝下不停地拍打他的后背，他咳出了两枚一角的硬币，她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道：
“你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币，可咳出两枚一角的硬币！我该怎么办呢？“
孩子他爸大声回答道：“再喂他几枚五分镍币！”
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的
一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.
参考资料：http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/14512209.html?si=1
怕老婆的丈夫(双语）http://www.funny365.cn/
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives．He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely．
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel to step to the left side of the hall． All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right．
“It's good to see，”said the king，“that we have one real man in the kingdom．Tell these chickenhearted dunces why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall．”
“Your Majesty，”came the reply in a squealing voice，“it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds．”
古代有一个国王，他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样，受到老婆的管制。他把王国里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告说，哪个男人胆敢不说实话，就会受到严厉的惩罚。
然后，他叫所有听从妻子的命令和意见的男人都走向大厅的左侧。所有的男人都站到了左侧，只有一个小个子男人站到了右侧。
国王说：“看到我们国家里还有一个真正的男子汉，真是令人高兴。告诉这些胆小的笨蛋，为什么在他们当中只有你一个人站在大厅的右侧。”
“陛下，”那人尖声地回答：“因为在我出门之前，我老婆告诉我不要扎堆。”

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1.
Doctor: Please open your mouth,madam.
Lady : Thank you very much,doctor.
Doctor: Why do you thank me?
Lady : Because my husband always asked me to shut up.
医生：请张开嘴，夫人。
夫人：...

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1.
Doctor: Please open your mouth,madam.
Lady : Thank you very much,doctor.
Doctor: Why do you thank me?
Lady : Because my husband always asked me to shut up.
医生：请张开嘴，夫人。
夫人：真谢谢你，医生。
医生：你为什么谢我？
夫人：因为我丈夫总是叫我闭嘴。
2.
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night.He went to see his doctor,who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills,slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm.He took his time getting to the office,strolled in and said to his boss:"I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine,"roared the boss,"but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。
星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室，溜达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。”
“好啊！”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？”

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