英语小笑话及中文翻译

英语小笑话及中文翻译
英语小笑话及中文翻译

英语小笑话及中文翻译
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似；类似
18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师.一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝.
“是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她.
“我没看到鸟儿,老师,只看到鸟窝.”那孩子回答说.
“那么,你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道.
“哦,老师,就像你的头发一样.”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头. 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式.
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲.
“是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头.”
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车.接近门口,一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来,没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚,仰面滑倒了.她的惯性使她接近了我的脚.我正准备扶她,她却自己爬了起来.她镇定了一下,对我挤了一下眉,说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”
希望能帮到你,要是答案还满意的话,记得采纳哦,O(∩_∩)O谢谢~!

Good boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with
the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said...

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Good boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with
the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents
more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老
太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Perfect son
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
完美儿子
A:我有一个很完美的儿子.
B:他抽烟吗?
A:不抽.
B:他喝威士忌酒吗?
A:不喝.
B:他会不会很晚回家?
A:不会.
B:我想你确实有一个完美儿子. 那他多大了?
A:下个星期三就满6个月了.
Classified ads
MONDAY: For sale: R.D. Jones has one sewing machine
for sale. Phone 948-0707 after 7 PM. and ask for
Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap.
TUESDAY Notice: We regret having erred in R.D. Jones' ad
yesterday. It should have read "One sewing machine for
sale cheap. Phone 948-0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who
lives with him after 7 PM."
WEDNESDAY Notice: R.D. Jones has informed us that he
has received several annoying telephone calls because
of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday.
The ad stands corrected as follows: "For sale - R.D. Jones
has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 948-0707
after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him."
THURSDAY Notice: I, R.D. Jones, have no sewing machine
for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 948-0707 as I have had
the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with
Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper but
she quit!
分类广告
星期一分类广告：
廉让：琼斯先生有一台缝纫机求售。晚上七点后请电洽廉价
同居人凯利太太，948-0707。
星期二更正启事：
很抱歉，昨天琼斯先生的广告刊登错误。更正如下：琼斯先生
有一台缝纫机廉价求售。请电洽晚上七点后与他同居的凯利
太太，948-0707。
星期三更正启事：
琼斯先生通知我们，昨天分类广告刊登错误，导致他接到几通
骚扰电话。更正如下：廉让--琼斯先生有一台缝纫机求售，廉价，
晚上七点后请电洽与他同居的凯利太太，948-0707。
星期四警告启事：
我是琼斯本人，我没有缝纫机要出让，我已经把它摔烂了！不要
再打948-0707这支电话，我已经把电话线拔掉了。我和凯利
太太没有私人关系--她是我的管家，不过昨天已经辞职了！

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A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it .She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes.Frantica...

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A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it .She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes.Frantically, she called to the father outside.
"Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do ?"
Yelled back the father ,"Keep feeding him nickels!"
母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去，她立刻将他抱起，头朝下不停地拍打他的后背，他咳出了两枚一角的硬币，她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道：
“你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币，可咳出两枚一角的硬币！我该怎么办呢？“
孩子他爸大声回答道：“再喂他几枚五分镍币！”
Just Sew the Buttonhole
Husband: Did you sew the button on my shirt, darling?
Wife: No, dear. I couldn't find the button, so I just sewed up the buttonhole.
丈夫：你给我把扣子缝好了吗，亲爱的？
妻子：没有，亲爱的。我找不到扣子，所以我只把扣眼儿给缝上了。

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Sleeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and w...

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Sleeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
安眠药
鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。
星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。”
“好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？”
Each day brings its own bread. 天无绝人之路。
Each man is the architect of his own fate. 命运掌握在自己手中。
Early mistakes are the seeds of future trouble. 早期的错误可以酿成日后的麻烦。
Early start makes easy stages. 早开始是成功的保证。
有个人不小心撞了一个外国人。
他：I'm sorry
外:I'm sorry ,too.
他:I'm sorry ,three
外:What are you sorry for ?
他:I'm sorry ,five.
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

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